One of the nicest things about working at our shop is that twice a year we get to shift gears and cruise into a totally different selling season. In the spring, ski season gives way to bike season, and in the fall, bike season gives way to ski season. It’s like starting a new job, except your coworkers already know how much of a slacker you are.
It’s been a long bike season and now it is fall, and we’ve had all the fun we can handle selling bikes and running shoes, and it is time to sell skis and snowshoes. It’s a nice change of pace, a welcome breath of fresh, hotwax-scented air. I imagine working at a bike shop in Key West that just keeps rolling from day to day, never changing, would be rather dull and perhaps even exasperating, like driving through Kansas while listening to an “All AC/DC, All the Time” radio station.
The period between the different selling seasons can at times exemplify dull and exasperating. It can get mind numbingly slow during the months when people are no longer buying summer gear and are waiting until it snows to buy their winter gear. A Tuesday afternoon in mid-November, for example, could break the resolve of a barnacle. During those days, after you’ve dusted the bases of the displays, alphabetized the magazine rack, and Windexed all the sunglasses, you do whatever it takes to retain your sanity. I find that playing games can keep me from losing my mind, and over the years, I’ve invented some good ones. “Time Trial Trike Style,” “Dog Frisbee Golf,” and “What’s That in My Hand?” are a few of my favorites. As a service to all those retail junkies out there fighting the seemingly endless monotony, I present the following Guide to Really Dumb Games to Play at Work When It Is Slow. (If your boss catches you playing these games and you get fired, please do not use my name.)
TIME TRIAL TRIKE STYLE
By simply rearranging clothing displays a bit, you can make quite a challenging time trial course, made even more challenging by having to ride the course on a tricycle. Knocking products off displays incurs a five-second penalty. Knocking entire displays over results in disqualification. For an added degree of difficulty, do the course with a wool hat pulled over your eyes. The rider with the fastest time gets immunity from picking up all the downed displays and scattered products.
DOG FRISBEE GOLF
If your store carries dog accessories, you know that you’ve wanted to toss around one of those soft dog Frisbees. Well, now is your chance. Using existing objects as targets—the time clock, the changing room door, the head of your favorite fellow coworker—lay out a 9- or 18- hole Frisbee golf course. Winner gets immunity from helping any customers that may wander in.
WHAT'S THAT IN MY HAND?
Obscure bike parts can stump even the most time- tested mechanic in the shop in this exciting game of mental prowess. An object is placed in the hands of a blindfolded player, and the player has one minute to identify it and then use the name of the object in a sentence. For example:
“Well, it’s round and has sharp points. Is it a 104 BCD, 34-tooth, four-bolt chainring?
“Yes! Now use it in a sentence.”
“This 104 BCD, 34-tooth, four-bolt chainring is used, and now I have grease all over my hands. Aargh!”
“Yes! Now use it in a sentence.”
“This 104 BCD, 34-tooth, four-bolt chainring is used, and now I have grease all over my hands. Aargh!”
Ultimately however, the bike parts must be put away and the time trial and golf course must be closed because it finally starts to get busy. At that point, we are fervently ready to sell and share our vast knowledge of winter products. How do we get so educated you ask? How do we avoid saying “Not sure” when asked technical questions? Way too many product clinics, that’s how. The downtime between seasons is the perfect time for sales representatives to come and explain in detail why their products are the best and why the other stuff we sell is clearly inferior. During these clinics, we listen and learn, and as a reward for paying attention, and promising to sell and promote their brand, we are given free stuff, such as a bottle opener or a water bottle, or a double extra large t-shirt. But we don’t attend these clinics for the free stuff. We attend them for you, our valued customers, so that you get nothing but the absolute best customer service. Unfortunately, the most common questions asked are “When is this stuff going on sale,” and “When is it going to snow?” And all we can say is, “Not sure.”
